Doritos and Nachos Battle For Slushy & Celts Declare War On Nachos

SLUSHY, Doritos Empire – Yesterday the Nachos and Doritos had their first battle of the war on Slushy and it ended in a disputed result with both armies claiming victory. On the same day the Celts, a mainly AUSIA army, declared war on the Nachos.

The battle took place on Klondike, due to Slushy being nearly full, across three rooms (Berg, Forts and Stadium). The Doritos claimed that the Nachos only won in the Berg, while they won the other two rooms – while the Nachos said they won throughout the battle. The Nachos maxed around 30-32 at points during the battle and the DCP were just under that maxing 25-27.

Both statements on the respective websites imply that their tactics were better than the oppositions and both say that they were bigger. Below, there are pictures from each of the room gathered from the Nachos’ and Doritos’ websites.


In the Berg the Nachos form a plus and use the “VIVA LOS NACHOS” tactic, while the Doritos form a half-circle and use the Pizza tactic.


Both armies form a diagonal line in the staidum, with the Nachos using angry faces and the Doritos using sun emotes.

The Doritos use spit faces to bomb the Nachos line across in the Forts.

Following the battle Weazelkid, Nachos Leader, was pleased with the results and said that this was the “first blow” in the war and rallied his troops into keeping up the performance they had yesterday.

Today, we had our first battle in the war against DCP, with the invasion of Slushy. We logged onto Klondike (1 bar server) to battle for control of the server Slushy. As expected, our enemies performance did not back up all the trash they were talking in the past 24 hours. The Wannabe Nachos (aka the Doritos) only had around 25 at their peak, and needed to retreat twice during the battle, which is really sad considering they were using their allies.

But enough about them, let’s talk about us, the Nachos. We maxed an outstanding 36 troops, while averaging around 30 throughout the battle. Our tactics were quick and effective as always, and were a great compliment to our size. Comparing our performance to that of the enemy, we claim this as a clear Nacho victory!

We’ve struck the first blow in this war, my friends. Let’s keep the pressure on and show them why you don’t mess with the Nacho Army!

-Weazelkid, Nachos Leader

 On the other hand Doritos Leader, Lord West, said that they won the battle and similarly to the Nachos’ statement, he rallied his troops and warned the Nachos that the same will come.

Today is the first of many great battles to come. We successfully defended our co-capital Slushy from the expired chip snack, Nachos. As Slushy is a 5 bar server typically, we logged into Klondike for the actual battle. We maxed out at 26+ troops for today and the tactics were superb. Nachos, this battle is just a small example of what our forces will do to your entire nation. Be prepared.

-Lord West, Doritos Leader

 Both leaders appear confident for the future of the war and warn the opposite army that what they claim was victory will continue throughout the war. On the same day of this battle, the Celts, a mainly AUSIA army, declared war on the Nachos.

This was on the same day that the Small and Medium Army Press published a post showing possible picture editing, something that has been exploited in the Celts and previous armies led by Earthing before. However, Earthing denies the claims and says that the low resolution is due to the way he makes the pictures smaller before posting them. He also says the high tactic rate of rouges at events is due to the way he gets rouges to believe that there is a recording taking place.

The Nachos describe the declaration of war as a “joke”, but the Celts superior AUSIA division could prove problematic for the Nachos who lack a large AUSIA force. In the last SMAP top ten the Celts achieved 2nd, behind the Redemption Force and this was mainly down to their AUSIA events.


CELTS in a recent AUSIA training session.

Celts Leader, Earthing, is confident with the war ahead and states that they will force the Nachos to either die, or merge into the Celts. As for why they declared war, he feels that the Nachos underestimates many Small and Medium Armies.

1) Nachos have tried to under-estimate  us and even other s/m armies.

2) They think themselves the major super power of the cp army world and have been very rude to us and insulted our brother allies too.

3) They support some of our enemies like Waterkid100 and more.

4) They have tons of servers and we need the land too.

-Earthing, Celts Leader

He goes onto say in his post that the only way the Nachos will not die or merge into the Celts is if they “surrender” to what he describes as a “new era” of the Celts. The first battle between the two armies is an AUSIA battle of Alaska today.

What do YOU think about the battle of Slushy? Did the Nachos or Doritos win this battle? Also comment YOUR opinion on the Celts’ declaration of war and if they should be punished for alleged picture editing.

-Kingfunks4 CPA Central EP

73 Responses

  1. Nacho victory DCP are pussys Celts are gonna die the end i should’ve written this post :/

  2. This is basically what everyone does in war and what I mean by that is everyone in wars take their own pictures and they claim they won and say they maxed 5 or more then what they did. The only real evidence is Pictures and not just words. I know they put pictures on their raid post but they should count them and have those “army numbers” and see if those are consistent. Also Celts with lose

  3. DW did a goob job in this battle but they still lost tho

  4. Wars like this really need a judge. This is why the Ice Warriors vs. Golden Troops war was so great, because both armies would admit defeat when they were defeated.

    As for this event, I am unbiased as Nachos have recently fired me and DCP have ddosed me a lot in February so both armies have shown they don’t like me much however I think this was a victory for the Nachos.

  5. I think underestimating the Celts could be Nachos demise in this war

  6. Celts won Alaska from Nachos today,1-0 lead in the war.
    DEATH TO NACHOS! >for proof!

  7. If only more army’s wars were only like iw vs gt

  8. Typical DCP…

    They always talk an incredible amount of shit about how dominant their army is, but need to make sure they always have allies to protect them when they enter war.

    Whether it be RPF, ACP, DW, and now the Celts… [By the way, bringing in small armies towards your war effort became recognized as weak and pathetic a long time ago]

  9. 1) Nachos have tried to under-estimate us and even other s/m armies.
    Because you’re small or medium.

    2) They think themselves the major super power of the cp army world and have been very rude to us and insulted our brother allies too.
    We are a major power, and the DCP kind of makes their own insults for themselves. They beg for allies like you while acting tough.

    3) They support some of our enemies like Waterkid100 and more.
    That’s too bad.

    4) They have tons of servers and we need the land too.
    Good luck trying to get them.

  10. Doritos win as they should. the Nachos made the big fat mistake of declaring war on dcp and they should pay.

    • Explain how that was a Doritos won.
      A) Nachos had bigger sizes by far at the berg and the forts. IMO they also had bigger sizes at the stadium, but I guess you could make a debate about that.
      B) Nachos had slightly better tactics.
      C) Doritos retreated twice.

  11. If Celts were really a “major power,” then they shouldn’t have to declare an allies war when Nachos are focused on a different war.

  12. Am i the only one who doesn’t know what the hell the celts are?

  13. Earthing is an ass.
    He just got busted for editing pics at like the 8th time.
    Can’t we just IP ban or something.

  14. Nachos look hawt

  15. Some one kill Dcp already…..

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