[Phil]|New Recruits Versus Veteran Recruits|[Osophy]

Hello I am your host, Phil Osophy, and tonight’s topic is “Why new recruits are more valuable to an army than veterans recruited from other armies.” Prepare to have your socks knocked off but prepare your hands and keyboards, I want to hear your opinions, comments, or any general rabble rabble you wish to share (in the comments below).

Welcome To The Shab Show

Your Host

As a note, all pictures for this have been drawn in paint by yours truly. The link to purchase them can be found at the end of this broadcast.

CUE LIGHTS, SOUND, APPLAUSE, AND WE’RE LIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Round of Applause

Oldie

There are two types of recruits, veteran/experienced recruits and new recruits. New recruits are also known as noobs and will be referred to as such for the remainder of this session (I apologize for the size, but the noob penguin to the right is an American penguin). The experienced troops will be referred to as oldies (Not to be confused with retired penguins, who would have a cane AND a hearing horn).

Noob

So sometimes troops retire from armies, they stay on vacation for a bit, and then come back to the army. But other times troops decide to switch armies, to see how it fight for another team. Maybe they realized that the current army they are on just isn’t the one for them, so they switch. Either way, they bring with them what I will call, baggage.

Note: All names and armies are made up. Their distinction to real armies is just an amusing coincidence. Except for VLA. VLA rules.

To make this more clear, let’s turn this into a story! Marco the Miner had been a miner for almost two years but hadn’t become leader yet because the leader never retired (going on 14 years or something, oh and the Miners were blue for those who need a little nudge in the right direction). So this disgruntled soldier decided he wanted to go join another army. So what army did he join?

Marco the Miner

Why VLA of course. Only the best and biggest and brightest army out there! Anyways this soldier joins VLA with the main intention of becoming leader. Sure, he wants to have fun, but that’s not why he changed armies and that’s not what will be in his mind each time he gets promoted (see above).

VLA Marco

That’s not even speaking about the baggage of loyalty that comes from staying in an army for an extended period of time. If this soldier had to ally with the Miners or some other army like the Pink Buffaloes (whoever decided which words could just have an “s” on them and which ones needed “es” clearly missed the word “Buffalo”), they would be biased towards allying with the Miners. This would happen especially if Marco had friends still in the Miners. What’s to say he won’t just go back to the Miners if they offer him the leadership rank?

Now here’s the story of Nate the Noob. Nate saw a the Pink Buffalo army spamming their recruitment calls over and over (probably right before they got banned for using autotypers) and decided to go to his best friend, goggle, and find out what exactly the Pink Buffalo army was. He was able to find their site and chat and after talking to a few ranked soldiers and looking at the site, he decided to join.

He was interested in having fun for a long while and actively attended the different events. Sure, at one point might have realized that there were ranks and that he could be leader but the thought wasn’t “I’m going to be the best most active soldier for the next month or two until I get leader” but rather, “I could get leader eventually.” This soldier looked like this:

Nate the Noob

Notice the lack of baggage, there is no previous army that has his loyalty still. No previous army with his friends in it. All he knows is the Pink Buffalo army and his friends are all there. Notice the purity of thoughts (or lack-there-of), the main goal isn’t leader, Nate just knows that eventually he could get leader. So he’ll keep having fun till then (at which point he’ll cry and wonder why someone was so cruel as to make him leader).

DING DING DING DING

The Word was: cries

Congratulations to everyone reading this, you’ve all won a free clock (picture below) and 100 xats courtesy of Lord Albaro, retired ACP whateverhisrankwas. To redeem your prizes please go find him, he is commonly on ACP chat!

Clock

Alright, let’s get back on topic, we’re almost out of time! Up until now I’ve discussed why noobs are better than oldies. But I’d like to address why oldies are sometimes better than noobs. To keep this short, I’ll go quick:

-Tactics: Oldies have seen a variety of tactics and have seen what works and doesn’t. Soldiers from other armies can help bring new tactics into another army.

-Obedience: Ideally an oldie should be used to the way battles work and listening to the leader. Ideally they should be better at obeying orders and keeping quiet during battles (ideally)

-General Knowledge: Oldies know about other armies and have friends in more than one army so therefore they may be useful when trying to decide on allies, get allies, or trying to find out information about other armies.

Well, that’s all the time I have for tonight so I hope you enjoyed my post and my pictures. If you didn’t well tough luck, those pictures are one of a kind and I will be selling each one for 500 xats. Please talk to me on chat if interested. I also offer a deal, 2 for 1,000 xats.

More importantly, let me know what you think. Do you agree that noobs are more valuable to an army than oldies? Do you have some other argument that I missed?
COMMENT BELOW!

35 Responses

  1. I’m not giving any of you mofos xats xD

    • GIMME GIMME GIMME! 😛 IW 4IC WANT XATS! GIMME GIMME GIMME! JUST GIVE CHRISSY WHAT SHE WANTS! O_O GIMME GIMME GIMME! IM A CP ARMY NOOB- hey wait I might have a talent in song writing… hmm..

  2. 200TH!!!!!!!

  3. TLDR: Experienced troops only join an army for ranks and to gain ranks

    Noobs only jon an army for fun and to ”protect CP”

  4. Do you agree that noobs are more valuable to an army than oldies?

    >army of sheep led by a lion
    >army of lions led by a sheep

  5. where’s my xats?

  6. Mike the miner has the story if my career

  7. Best post ever

  8. Most noobs are un loyal and quit armies

  9. i could easily draw a picture exactly like that for free….

  10. That post was glorious, especially the drawings

  11. I actually only just focused on the pictures XD Nice post though o:

  12. Fantastic as always, Danny boy. I never personally experienced army-hopping or whatever you want to call it when someone switches armies and automatically gets a high rank in said army and then all the retirees come back like “who’s this clown?!” “he was GT/DCP/etc leader!” well do you think I care that he was GT leader?? no (sorry. rant.)

    What I can say is that every time I rejoined ACP, my motives were very different from the first time I joined. Particularly the final time I rejoined I was more searching for my own redemption than protecting CP or helping ACP or whatever. (In my defense, I sought redemption by trying to help ACP. I wasn’t totally selfish.) But anyway, that ended in lots of angry rants, getting blamed for a (fake) death, at least one coup attempt, and overall just a mental and emotional tailspin until I realized I was terrible and retired. (Two years ago today, in fact!)

    Anyway, that’s just me. And I do see value in oldies returning to their original army. (Didn’t Boomer rejoin at least once? No one can argue that was detrimental to ACP. He was our freaking FDR.) But new recruits are undervalued in armies today, and oftentimes their attempts to succeed are stymied by oldies coming in from other armies.

  13. Most of the most dominant, organized, and relatively successful armies in history such as ACP, Nachos, IW, NW, DW, and not to toot our own horn, but AR in our prime partly thrived because of how fair and disciplined we were. We didn’t care if you led an army to the top ten, you were going to prove your worth the same way the guy we just recruit was and if you came back from retirement, we were going to expect even more from you. I’ve despised army hopping and army whoring (being in 11 armies at once) for a long time now and hopefully people start realizing that the majority of army hoppers can’t do shit for the armies they join high ranks in.

  14. I have no idea what the title had too do with this post but i like it

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