You know what? Screw the introductions, this needs no introduction!

Well I hope I had you going there, but in all seriousness, why must I explain… No I must explain…. oh why not? This is the crazy mind of Weatherboy1, now known as The Cynical Penguin. Today I am starting a new series in which I criticize practices in CP armies. So let us begin…with a warning…

Sane Warning:

Bringing you out of the immersion for a moment, these posts are meant to be insane, have a lot of commentary, and of course be cynical. On occasion I will insult various organizations, but I will try to be at least somewhat fair (can’t be too fair, I am the Cynical Penguin after all!). This is meant to combine satire, analysis, editorials, and commentary in a glorious bunch. There will be occasional swearing so if you don’t like it, please avoid posts of similar name in the future. It also tends to help if you imagine me as a bold British gentlemen while reading this, like that other bald…. British man…so let this insanity begin.

Fun fact: I was once a spy when I was a very very lonely Noob, you can imagine what kind person I was, It was a very interesting time if I had to say….

Fine! I'll tell you the story of my life another time....

Fine! I’ll tell you the story of my life another time….

 So being the dashing person I was, I was actually semi successful at my job, I somehow managed to observe a meeting between army leaders of an enemy alliance, captured some incriminating photos… NO NOT THAT KIND! The leaders were discussing how they would hack ACP, and then how some of them thought they couldn’t win… very interesting stuff…



Nowadays this how spying goes like this:

"Spy":What I have here could change the war!

“Spy”:What I have here could change the war!



But in all seriousness, spying goes like this nowadays… at least from the idiot stand-point goes exactly like this, It seems like amateur hour all around. Especially when we get noobs who shout like this and I quote


So, let us review my copyrighted guide: “Sir Cynical’s guide to CP Warfare: Noob addition” on what it has to say about this occurrence.

Rule 56: When spying, Never ever under any circumstance reveal you are in fact, a spy.

I seriously wish that this is the worst offense of breaking my copyrighted book, but unfortunately many people in our community breaks my rule book so much worse then the poor bastard above. But I have seen far worse then what this poor noob has done. Then there’s the other point of the spectrum. The other side being, Taking threats WAY too seriously

Sort of like these guys.....

Sort of like these guys…..

Yes I am referring to the ACPSIS who made an utter fool of themselves and brought the end of ACPSIS (or did it?) when they said that an outside force of CP Illuminati. Which is utter and completely ridiculous…. or so you think!


But in all seriousness, this is utterly ridiculous to think that someone would spend the time and effort to traumatize children…. then again clowns do that for a living.

So in short, let’s review the Notes to self of this post.

  1. Don’t ever reveal you are a spy, by any circumstance, you look like an idiot also and you’ll likely be laughed at by your peers.
  2. Don’t take every single threat seriously, unless your hoping to become the NSA.
  3. Never use hastags in a comment…and  I just condemned the comments to have a hundred hash tags in it…. Didn’t I?

So that is the magical lessons we’ve learned today, this is the Cynical Penguin, signing out.

тнє.cуηιcαℓ.ρєηgυιη- CPAC….ReporterPhilospher….Satireist…. What is it I do here again?

12 Responses

  1. So give me your thoughts on how I can improve this…. and no I will not be sane through any of this.

  2. #yolo #swag #trynacut #second #opmasterrace #cuttergang

  3. Also don’t leave the name for the army your spying for in your name…

  4. Since this is considered “satire”, this will not be added to the staff record page.

    *Note: Never start a post with “You know what? Screw the introductions, this needs no introduction!” Posts always need introductions. It is like a sandwich without the top layer of bread. You want your readers to keep reading your posts, this is a “turn off.” Just keep that in mind 😉

    • I was trying to establish what sort of post this would be, Plus I couldn’t think of anything witty

  5. Love this post lmfao omfg Im dying ROTFL LMAO FACK

  6. Well darn, I was hoping this would be similar to a usual rant I do xD

  7. There are a lot of spelling / grammar mistakes in this post


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