Proper Grammar and How it Paints a Personality

Grammar (noun): the study of how words and their component parts combine to form sentences.

To some, grammar on the internet is as useless as a pig roast at a vegetarian’s convention. Some would claim that the internet is not “english class” and that you should not be subject to typing properly. Some would go as far to say that they are not judged for the way that they type. Viewers of CPA Central, grammar and the way you use words and language is one of the first impressions made through the internet. Why would anybody want their first impression to be “hey guys lolllz u guys r cool and i wanna join” ? Whenever I see a sentence like this, I just go:

http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg176/Person-Nacho/Wat8.jpg

Furthermore, the grammar you use online is what most people use to determine the level of intelligence you reside at. Why would you want someone who types in incoherent sentences, which require complex deciphering to determine the meaning of, as your leader? Who wants somebody like that around at all? Improper use of grammar, or raping of the English language, is the best way to guarantee that you will be treated like a “noob.”

What is a noob? In Club Penguin armies, a noob can anybody who is new, but is most commonly referred to as the stupid new troops. You know who I’m talking about. They are those people who have been with the army for 1 week and are commanding people to go to Mammoth because “the blacks are attacking me at the night club.” One of the most common characteristics of “noobs” would be their lack of forming sentences with actual words from the English language. Anything ranging from a “y”, a “ur”, or a misspelling of the ARMY NAME (nachoes) is usually a part of the vocabulary of a “noob”, and it becomes a chore to read what this is person is trying to tell you.

However, some armies treat people who lack proper grammar better than others. On three different days, I went on Nacho and ACP chats (NW chat would never member me…) as a different name, and asked to join. These were the results:

In this situation, I am “selflez98” and I ask “can i join acp” with not too much to misunderstand. Noka8 immediately tells me that I can join ACP, and even gives me a rank! There was not much grammatically that I could mess up in this sentence, so this experiment was simply seeing how the ACP responds to noobs.

https://clubpenguinarmy.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/grammar1.png

Next, I went on to Nacho chat and I kind of obnoxiously said “HEY CAN I JOIN” in caps locks. The first thing someone said to me was “hey!”, but then someone had the nerve to tell me “STFU AND GO TO THE JOIN PAGE” Would this have changed if I hadn’t put it in Caps Lock? This gives me the impression that the Nachos do not like Caps Lock.

https://clubpenguinarmy.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/grammar1.png

I decided that it wasn’t fair to only go on Nacho chat using “HEY CAN I JOIN IN ACP” in caps locks, so I went to ACP chat and copied my actions. Noka8 immediately tells me I can join. Through further experiments not documented here, it is clear that ACP is very accepting of any person who comes on, yet the Nachos are a little bit more critical of their troops. (Also, Noka8 is nice to his troops, he’s a keeper, even if he’s a bit weird)

https://clubpenguinarmy.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/grammar1.png

Next, I decided to turn the phrase “can i join this army” into something a little more complex, to see how ACP would react. They did not. I don’t want to say that the intelligence of ACP chat is any less than that of Nacho chat, but the users on at that moment obviously did not feel like reading a whole 3 lines of a message, to answer me. Either that, or they thought I was going to troll them. Furthermore, there was the chance that they were intimidated by proper grammar and full sentences.

https://clubpenguinarmy.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/grammar1.png

I decide to go on Nacho chat using a more complex sentence as well, and I immediately get a response from Pie1530. He tells me  that I can join immediately. Is it possible that the Nachos care more about grammar and word usage than the ACP? From the experiments I have performed, this is the most likely scenario. Nacho chat gave me more attention when I typed out  complex sentences, compared to ACP chat, who ignored me.

https://clubpenguinarmy.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/grammar1.png

I can conclude many things from this experiment.

First of all, the way in which a person presents themselves through words will directly shape the way you are treated in BOTH Nacho and ACP chats. I was not able to document the long conversations I had with the users on both chats, but when I used proper grammar (not necessarily long and drawn out sentences), they were more engaging and willing to have a conversation with me. However, when I didn’t use proper grammar, ACP chat declared me as a “noob”, while I was kicked on Nacho chat for “not being capable of forming coherent sentences.”

Secondly, some people are intimidated by large words and complex sentences. When I was on ACP chat and typed out complex sentences, I was ignored. As if I wasn’t even there, they participated in their conversation around my words, not even referring to me as being involved. I was thoroughly confused, until I came to the conclusion that they had realized I did not belong. Either they thought I was trolling them, or they actually were intimidated by my use of large words. However, Nacho chat did not react the same way. My use of large words and complex sentences allowed people to LIKE the noob! The atmospheres on ACP and Nacho chat compare to two totally different worlds.

Finally, you should ALWAYS use proper grammar. Yes, when I used an unnecessarily long sentence, I was ignored. However, proper grammar does not always mean the sophisticated use of words to portray yourself as intellectually “above-average” . Proper grammar can simply mean spelling out “your/you’re” and using the correct “their/there/they’re”. The extra 3.5 seconds it takes to spell out a word fully will be worth it in the long run. If you want to be able to make pleasant conversation through Xat, and not have to make the leader of the army you are in decipher your gibberish, use proper grammar.

Never paid attention in English Class?

YOU’RE – The contraction of YOU ARE. Example: You’re a good leader, Person!  You’re so good with grammar, Person!

YOUR – Used for possession, or describing something that belongs to somebody. Example: Your grapes are almost as juicy as your MOUTHWATERING flesh! Your insignificance is that of a fruit fly.

THEIR – Used for possession, describing something  that may belong to somebody else. Example: Their grammar is impeccable!   Their incoherent sentences make me want to rip my balls off!

THERE – Used when pointing out a place, whether concrete or abstract. Example: It’s so long you can see it from there!  Over there, is where we will find the golden twinkie. There we go!

THEY’RE – Contraction of THEY ARE. Example: They’re inside of my house! They’re in the Cat Tank! They’re watching me … You get the point.

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It’s – The contraction of “it is.” Example: It’s too late for that.  It’s not right to misuse “it’s.” It’s not over until the fat lady sings.

Its- Used to show possession, to describe an object, person, etc. Example:  Its pants are growing!  Its life has just been taken. Its injustices demand justice.

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Who’s – The contraction of “who is.” If you can replace the word with who is or who has, use who’s. If not, use whose.
Example: Who’s the man with the bag?  Who’s the winner of the battle?  Who’s the ACP leader?

Whose- Possessive form. Used to describe something that may belong to somebody or something. Example: Whose noob is this? Whose chat does this belong to? Whose posts on CPAC are the best?

I will admit that with this next one, I have to stop and mentally think for a second to determine whether I used the correct form.

“Affect” is a verb, as in “Your ability to communicate clearly will affect your income immensely.”

“Effect” is a noun, as in “The effect of a parent’s low income on a child’s future is well documented.” By thinking in terms of “the effect,” you can usually sort out which is which, because you can’t stick a “the” in front of a verb.

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With the conclusion of this post, I hope that those of you who have been beating the English language online for years, will decide to change your ways and repent. The way of proper grammar is the way, the truth, and the l- … wait, wrong lesson plan.

Even if you are not all that skilled in the construction of sentences using proper grammar now, I hope you use this post and remember it in your future. As we progress, more and more essential things can be done online. You may have your next job interview online, where grammar will be absolutely necessary, and a determining factor in whether you get the job or not.

Anyway, don’t be like this guy:

https://clubpenguinarmy.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/grammar1.png

Your neighborhood “Grammar Nazi”,

***Person1233***

PS: If anyone finds any grammatical errors in this post, please notify me immediately so I don’t embarrass myself in making an entire post about telling people to use proper grammar, when I did not do so in my own post. 😆

106 Responses

  1. Only I would make a 1589 word post on grammar..

  2. 1st no w i reed ur poast.

  3. that pic scares the crap out of me….

  4. No one can say this post was pointless. I loved it.
    I have a feeling some ACP N00b will say something with horrible grammar.

  5. For CPAC viewers that have a shorter attention span than a wounded sloth and are incapable of comprehending Person’s well crafted post, this video will explain everything on how grammar can really matter when you need it most:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4vf8N6GpdM

    At least write correctly for European Jews’ sakes.

  6. I think I just wasted 5 minutes of my life reading that… It was an okay post, though. Really long and boring, but not terrible.

  7. i liek teh post persawn i totes agree
    people who dun spell right are nubz

  8. The thing is…
    Technically, “internet” is supposed to be capitalized…
    So, Internet*

  9. PEERSAN UR SOZ KOOL I WANTS TO BE LIEK U AND HAV GUD GREMMER AND BE DA LEEDER OF DA NOCHOZ AN BE KOOL UR SOZ KOOL

  10. I think we forget sometimes that this is a GAME we are playing. In the end it does not matter who is number 1 and who is a large army, this is suppose to be for fun. I think as long as you understand the person talking it is fine. For example, some “new recruit” told me today “I lik dis army”. Now anyone with half a brain would realize that he was saying “I like this army”. If you want to get a particular about grammar then go back to English class or start some sort of grammar club.

  11. “Would this have changed if I hadn’t put it in Caps Lock? This gives me the impression that the Nachos do not like caps lock.”

    It should have “caps lock” in the last sentence also capitalized, as you did in the first. It makes your grammar look quite sloppy, especially since you’re posting about the use of proper grammar.

  12. Its a good post. Their wasnt that much that was new to me. Your really weird Pern. Whose the grammer nazi?

  13. I don’t know why everyone things that just because this is online, we can go all out and forget everything we learned in English class. I have seen all the CPAC applications, and 95% of them are TERRIBLE. I wonder if they even go to school since their grammar and spelling is so atrocious.

    They write like 2nd graders. I’m in 7th grade and I can write better than 8th graders + here. I’m not saying I can outdo an 8th grader/high school student at my school, but I can definitely top some teenagers here.

    This is the internet. So? Who gives a damn. Everyone should use proper grammar and spelling.

  14. “It’s so long, you can see it from over there!”
    That’s what she said.

    • I didn’t know I needed to know that’s a “That’s what she said.”

  15. I laughed so hard when I saw that picture of that nacho chat. STFO and go join” that reminds me so much of you Ralph.

  16. Thank you, Person. You have inspired me to use proper grammar on the Internet. Laugh out loud. You’re always the right person to come to.

  17. as long as you can understand what they say i think its fine. if you forget a punctuation (sorry if i spelled wrong) or two not a big deal. but if you say “i r goin 2 lic u soon cuz ur a noob” then theres a problem

  18. Thank you for making this post, I am tired of seeing people “tlk liek dis lawlse1$#@#”

  19. Lmao, my comment got mentioned. You do know it was meant to be poor grammar, to mock everyone who does have poor grammar? A bit like Ias’ comment. Don’t ‘diss your shaft, Pern.

  20. And I quote,” we have to use quotation marks now,”

  21. I think it’s a bit harsh to say ACP were intimidated by a large paragraph, they just couldn’t be bothered to read it.

    Your case isn’t helped by the fact Pie was the one who responded to you.. he is hardly famous for his grammar.

  22. Noka is idiotic…

  23. bish plz i use proper grammar when i feel like it u aint duh boss of me.

  24. as long as you can understand the person it doesn’t matter too much atleast in dw :think:

  25. But…I…thought…you..were…married…to…me?

  26. NEWSFLASH: Do Not Talk In All Capital Letters Like Some People Do. It Makes You Look Stupid And It Shows You’re Trying Too Hard.
    i wouldnt talk in lowercase letters without punctuation either because they make your sentences stop and they distinguish some words from others.

    Capitalize the first word in the sentence, plush proper nouns such as Person (as his name, not a common noun: e.g. a person), Etac, Joe, etc. No need to capitalize every first word in a sentence, it makes it seem like you’re trying too hard.

    I know everyone here has/had gone to school at one point in his life. Why not apply what you’ve learned to your CPAC applications? If you did, we would have so many better reporters.

    SAMPLE POST THAT TICKS ME OFF–

    the acp and nw were fiteing over server fog witch was nw’s capitol and acp won! nw clamed a lot of rooms but not enuff and acp were better and they were big! hooray for acp! u rock!
    here are some piktures of the battle:
    [Insert pictures here]

    INTERVEW WITH POCH FW LEADER
    i will be in caps and he will be in lowercase

    HI POCH HOW ARE U DOING
    chortles. im good thanks.

    OK WHO DO U THINK WON FOG
    chortles won! chortles like…totally overpowered acp and nw combined. 😆

    BUT RLLY ACP OR NW WHO’S SIDE WERE U ON
    acp, because my dear friend etac was once in acp.

    OK WHOS ETAC
    she’s a very awesome person who is almost as awesome as chortles!!!!

    OK SO WAS ACP BIG ENOUGH
    duh. chortles.

    OK THANKS POCH
    your chortley welcome.

    THANKS FOR LEETING ME INTERVEW YOU
    no problem

    ok u see poch thinks acp won and chortles too so ya theres a person who thinks acp won so lets go to another person to interview:

    INTERVEW WITH BRI, FORMERZ WW LAEDER

    HI BRI!
    what do you want.

    I WANT TO INTERVEW U!
    ok whatever.

    WHO WON FOG NW OR ACP
    well since i hate tomb, acp won.

    ANY REASON WHY YOU HATE TOMB?
    lots of reasons that are none of yo business.

    OK SO WHY DO YOU THINK ACP WON
    because i hate tomb, didnt i already say that?

    THANKS FOR LEETING ME INTERVEW YOU
    please leave now.

    OK BYE
    finally. 🙄

    ok u see she thinks acp won too and poch thunk that also so lets try to find someone who thinks nw one ok?

    INTERVEW WITH PRINGLE FW LAEDER

    HI PRING
    hello my dear friend.

    WHO WON FOG ACP OR NW
    due to numerous calculations and statistics, i believe that the nw indeed won, due to the fact that nw was just filled with pure awesomeness.

    OK SO DOES THAT MEAN YOU THOUGHT ACP WON
    no, that means i thought nw won, duh.

    OK SO CAN U MAKE ME GRAPHICS
    are you still interviewing me?

    YES BUT CAN I HAVE GRAPHICS
    oh my, look at the time, i hate to say this, but i have to run to pilates. sorry. go to acp chat and ask mch for graphics 😉 bye!

    ok u see pringle likes nw ok.

    so the votes are 2-1 so acp won! ya acp won!
    —————————————————–
    This “post” was meant to provide humor. If it offends you, then :lol:. I never interviewed Poch, Pring, or Bri recently, but that’s what I think they would say. Maybe a few exaggerations here and there.

    Anyway, that type of post makes me so mad, I want to throw a baseball at whoever wrote it.

  27. Best post ever?

    I think so.

    That comment on the bottom though, that could only be pulled off on purpose. There is no way whatsoever anyone on the internet talks like that all the time.

  28. WAW, U HAZ TOT ME TOOO UZE GUD SPILENG, THNK YU DIS POCT IZ DA BIST.

  29. eye joind cpenuin an now am on sit.

    wat do

  30. luolz i have good grammorz and spelling, it bedder den urz persun, lolz

  31. dun furgit u muss spel gewd onn inturwebz oare elz da ppplz dun liek u

  32. Perzen u r sug a nub cuz dis poast iz piontlezz.

  33. Hewwo Perzen u r sutch a nub cos dis poast irs piontleaz

  34. ’nuff said.

  35. Oh, come on.. that was a bad snapshot of my grandma.

  36. Nachos like big words
    ACP like words in caps

  37. AYE LUVS REDEING DA POSET!!!! AYE WIL LISSEN 2 YORE POSET N NEFA YUSE BADD SPLLING AND GRMUR!!!

  38. I shall do a step by step change of your picture, Pern.
    wat
    wat?
    Wat?
    What?
    Tiddywinkle Kindergarten now accepts Pern!

  39. Oh and Blog Stats on the side has two grammar errors.

  40. *Oh, and

  41. LOL at the second pic of ACP chat. You left that bottom part in it on purpose, didn’t you Person?

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